Love, Death and Tea by Will Once

Author:Will Once
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Science Fiction & Fantasy, Humorous, Fantasy, General Humor, Paranormal & Urban, Humor & Satire, Literature & Fiction
Publisher: Will Once
Published: 2013-06-14T05:00:00+00:00

* * *

There was a time when that wooded track would have seemed like the perfect place to set up camp. We would have pitched our tents, built up a fire and settled down to a nice cauldron of stew. Yvonne would break out her guitar and we would sing Lady Gaga classics until it was time for sleep.

But not now. We looked about us anxiously. This must be how it would feel to be a rabbit, a vole or a similarly small and defenceless creature. Or, for that matter, a living trapped in a city full of zombies. It was not a good feeling. It felt as if the trees could come alive and attack us at the slightest provocation. The terror was like a thick black goo that covered everything.

“The cows?” I gasped.

“Not seen them for ages,” said Yvonne.

“The birds?” asked my Dad.

“I don’t think they’ll stay away forever,” said Libby.

“The wolves?” asked Colin.

“Which wolves?” we all said.

“Those wolves,” said Colin pointing.

There were about a dozen sleek grey shapes staring at us from the edge of the forest. Long muzzles dripped with foam. Angry lips peeling back to reveal jagged teeth. Red eyes glared balefully. Their angry breath steamed in the cool night air.

“Get inside the van,” I hissed to Yvonne and Corrinne. This was no time for equal opportunities.

“Zombie wolves?” asked my Dad.

It was at that point that I noticed what the wolves were wearing. One sported a tattered leather belt around its midriff. Another had a day-glo waterproof coat on its shoulders. Yet a third had a rucksack on its back. Another had a compass on a string around its neck.

The full horror of our situation hit me like a very large hammer about the skull. These were no zombies. These were Outward bound werewolves. I could just picture the scene. It would have started with a management training team-building bonding session in the woods. And then the Switch would have changed everything, with Mr Smith from accounts howling at the moon and sprouting bristly grey hairs and fangs. Did they all succumb at the same time? Or did the first to switch prey on the remainder? I never did like those management training sessions. I guessed that this would have been the worst ever.

And then they attacked. All was a flurry of snarling snapping jaws. Colin lay about him with his axe, hewing and chopping. My Dad and I fought with our bare hands, punching, strangling, grappling. Bessie rocked as the wolves fought to break through the windows.

I threw one wolf to the ground. It squirmed back onto its feet and instantly leapt back at me, grabbing hold of my arm with enormously strong teeth and ripping at my rotting flesh. I punched its stomach and it yelped in pain. Whimpering, it ran away.

The battle raged for what felt like hours. I soon learned that the best way to hurt a werewolf was to punch it in its ... ahem ... gentleman’s area. Not Marquis of Queensbury rules, perhaps, but these were desperate times.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.